eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

[viiru2alert]

[Good evening, friends. Sollux kicks this feed off with a shot of four baby Pokémon -- a Dratini, Bulbasaur, Venipede, and Larvitar -- all kind of napping or something together. The Gear lingers on them for a second, and then twirls back around so everyone watching can get an eyeful of Sollux's hideous glasses. Oh god they're awful.] So, since Team Megido has now touched base in Olivine and I have nothing to do because, oh look, I already have my motherfucking Gym Badge [this was directed towards someone off-screen], I decided that now would be a great time to dick around a little on the PokéGear.

So, it's getting damn close to summer. The weather's getting warmer and it's fucking fabulous, I literally couldn't be happier with the current state of the thermometer right now. Unfortunately, all of the springtime fun and allergies and shit also meant that I have four freshly-hatched little asswipes crawling around all over the place. I think everyone's kind of sick of them by no-- oh, wait, did I say four? Sorry, meant five. [And the screen moves AGAIN, to a picture of an adorable baby Vullaby picking at her feathers.] Look at that bitch. Found her wandering around in the Safari Zone. Do you people know how long I've been looking for one of these? Way too fucking long.

[And then the feed goes back to him. Maybe he's done gloating about his altogether unremarkable accomplishments... maybe.] And now I'm going to get back on topic. Summer. Back on Trollplanet, the Dim Season didn't mean much except the night-time got hotter, and the day-time got... well, also hotter, but the sun also kind of scorched all of your skin off if you walked out there anyway. There weren't any of these... festivals or holidays or shit. In fact, there weren't any festivals at all.

So, what's the difference between a festival and those godawful parties? Please tell me they're at least bigger. I've been dragged to several holiday parties now and all of them have had too many people in not enough room.

Comments

[action]

[viiru2alert]

[The Dratini blinks at her, somewhat uncomprehendingly.]

I don't think that a baby Pokémon with no limbs would know off the top of its head what a shoe is, KN.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

Probably not, which would make him thinking that is his name even worse.

[She gives it another scritch then hands him back to Sollux, perusing the other babies as if trying to decide which one to pick up next.]

[action]

[viiru2alert]

[Sollux takes his bb back, letting it curl up around his shoulders as he thinks.]

Damn. KN, check out my fabulous boa.

[ ... ]

I could totally call him Boa.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[Apparently the Venipede is next into Kanaya's arms, before she levels a look at him, carefully considering the dratini around Sollux's neck.]

...That could work. It is certainly better than Shoe.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Even you admit it. Shoe is a shitty name no matter how you look at it.

[He taps the Dratini's head.] Boa.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

So does that mean if I continue to give them terrible names it will goad you into giving them proper ones?

[She fixes her gaze on the little pokemon in her arms.]

How about Swish, hmm? Do you like Swish? Actually that one isn't particularly bad...

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Go die in a hole. I don't think they're all going to offer themselves up as fashion items so we can name them, KN.

[Venipede, meanwhile, trills happily. He... likes...]

[...Swish...]

[action]

[wontturntostone]

Perhaps you are simply not thinking creatively enough about... [Kanaya trails off at the chittering from the Venipede, and then gently offers him out to Sollux.]

Apparently he likes Swish.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

[He stares at the Bug-type.] You seriously like Swish?

[Nod! Nodnodnod!]

...FML.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[Kanaya almost felt bad about that. Almost.]

It could be worse. The Dratini could have liked Shoe.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Good thing Boa is a nice, sensible Pokémon who likes nice, sensible names.

[Pointed look at the Venipede.]

[Kanaya, did you know that Venipedes can have "gurl plz" expressions? Because they can. And that's what Swish is giving Sollux right now.]

[action]

[wontturntostone]

Hmm.

[Kanaya is just trying not to laugh at that expression.]

[action]

[viiru2alert]

[Well, considering neither one seems intent on stopping, she's gonna be holding back laughter for quite a long time.]

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[Nope, she fails. But at least it's polite giggling.]

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Don't laugh at me!

[...well that escalated quickly.]

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[She manages to get control after a few seconds, though she's still sort of giggling as she looks at him.]

Sollux I am not laughing at you...exactly.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Yes you are.

[If he was still a troll, there would be sparks crackling right now.]

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[Okay, that's...a bit alarming.]

Sollux, honestly. I am not making fun of you.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

[He snorts angrily, but seems to calm down... maybe... slightly... a bit.]

Then why were you laughing at me.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

[She huffs softly.]

I was not laughing at you. I was laughing at the entire situation.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

...

[He sits there and pouts angrily at her for a while.]

Fine.

I believe you.

For now.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

You should relax, Sollux. Most people will not be laughing at you.

[She'll just keep holding the baby pokemon for protection for now.]

[action]

[viiru2alert]

That's what you think! I bet no one's ever fucking laughed at you, KN.

[action]

[wontturntostone]

Vriska spent the majority of our relationship laughing at me, if I recall.

[action]

[viiru2alert]

Vriska doesn't count. Let me rephrase that.

I bet no one respectable ever laughed at you, KN.