viiru2alert | eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

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eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

[Good evening, friends. Sollux kicks this feed off with a shot of four baby Pokémon -- a Dratini, Bulbasaur, Venipede, and Larvitar -- all kind of napping or something together. The Gear lingers on them for a second, and then twirls back around so everyone watching can get an eyeful of Sollux's hideous glasses. Oh god they're awful.] So, since Team Megido has now touched base in Olivine and I have nothing to do because, oh look, I already have my motherfucking Gym Badge [this was directed towards someone off-screen], I decided that now would be a great time to dick around a little on the PokéGear.

So, it's getting damn close to summer. The weather's getting warmer and it's fucking fabulous, I literally couldn't be happier with the current state of the thermometer right now. Unfortunately, all of the springtime fun and allergies and shit also meant that I have four freshly-hatched little asswipes crawling around all over the place. I think everyone's kind of sick of them by no-- oh, wait, did I say four? Sorry, meant five. [And the screen moves AGAIN, to a picture of an adorable baby Vullaby picking at her feathers.] Look at that bitch. Found her wandering around in the Safari Zone. Do you people know how long I've been looking for one of these? Way too fucking long.

[And then the feed goes back to him. Maybe he's done gloating about his altogether unremarkable accomplishments... maybe.] And now I'm going to get back on topic. Summer. Back on Trollplanet, the Dim Season didn't mean much except the night-time got hotter, and the day-time got... well, also hotter, but the sun also kind of scorched all of your skin off if you walked out there anyway. There weren't any of these... festivals or holidays or shit. In fact, there weren't any festivals at all.

So, what's the difference between a festival and those godawful parties? Please tell me they're at least bigger. I've been dragged to several holiday parties now and all of them have had too many people in not enough room.

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Vriska spent the majority of our relationship laughing at me, if I recall.

Vriska doesn't count. Let me rephrase that.

I bet no one respectable ever laughed at you, KN.

[Kanaya hesitates.]

...You consider me respectable?

You? Uh, yeah.

Huh.

[She hadn't been expecting that.]

Should I... not?

[He doesn't follow your logic, Kanaynay.]

No, it is just-

Sollux, I assumed you did not believe anyone was respectable anymore.

[ ... ]

[Boa crawled down from Sollux's neck, settling in a little ball in his lap again. Sollux put both hands on the Pokémon's back, desperate to have them do something, anything, so he didn't look so stunned by this.]

Maybe that's true.

[His head slumps.]

Maybe I don't think anyone is respectable anymore. Maybe... maybe I don't think, or feel, anything at all.

[His hands continue to mess around with Boa. Petting him, letting him rest his head in Sollux's hand.]

But I did, at one time.

Before all this happened. Before my mind was shot to hell.

I respected you. I respected you a lot.

[Kanaya wasn't entirely certain what to say to that at all. It was a surprising thing to hear, especially from Sollux. They had been friends once, what felt like forever ago, but he'd turned into...well, an asshole, and she'd let it go, because she couldn't keep holding onto things that haunted her.]

...Thank you.

[He holds Boa closer.]

[In a massively uncharacteristic, weak voice:] ...I really fucked up.

[She frowns, silent for a moment, uncertain what she is supposed to say. Finally she set the baby pokemon she was holding down, and sat down on the floor opposite him, folding her legs beneath her.]

How?

[Maybe it would help if he talked about it...]

I... I fucked it all up.

I stopped tryin' to deal with myself. With my problems. With my fucking head. I stopped trying to be normal. I just gave up and let my fucking duality do whatever the fuck it wanted, and I was there along for the ride, because I didn't wanna fucking deal with it anymore.

That's why I stooped talking to ya. And when I did, I was just a- a- [He laughs, mirthlessly.] -a prick. 'Cause before, I was trying to keep it up, and fight it, and be a fucking decent troll being. 'Cause people were worth it, you were worth it. Your fucking friendship was worth it.

And then, somewhere along the line... it wasn't.

[She listens quietly, her hands folded in her lap, just letting him talk it through until she thought he might be finished. For a moment, at least.]

So what changed, Sollux? I have never really understood that, I still don't, if we're being honest. You were one of my closest friends before you...weren't.

Nothin'... changed, really.

[Boa seems to have sensed that something is seriously going awry with his Trainer. Aww.]

I always wanted to say all the shit I did to you. Always. Even when we were... you know, friends. But back then, I could always control myself. Me being a bitter, angry asshole was just my initial base reaction, probably because of this fucking mutation I have. But the difference is this. Before, I was able to fight that, get over that part of myself, and so when I was talking to people I was an actual decent human being, instead of a spiteful piece of shit like I was in my head. Treat people like they ought to be treated, you know. Because I thought that's what I had to do.

And then I just got... tired.

And I stopped.

Hmm.

So, essentially, this is you. The asshole that can't help but snap at everyone. But you were trying extremely hard to be something that you eventually decided you couldn't.

Which is why we stopped being friends.

This is... this is me, yeah. This is me when I've given up on all pretenses of being anything but a fucking slave to my misfortune and disease.

[He's getting a little melodramatic here, but that's how he feels, so.]

[And that just makes Kanaya sigh sadly.]

Your life is not full of misfortune and disease, Sollux. If anything, your life is following quite a nice path here.

Yes it is!

Some people, when they don't try, they're just nice magnetic people. Like fucking AA. And some people try no matter what, like you.

And then there's the weak, angry little shits like me, all the way at the bottom of the breeding caverns.

I am not as nice as you believe, Sollux.

[She does smile faintly.]

And if Aradia is such a nice people magnet, how come she seems to want to spend so much time with you?

Fuck if I know! I've asked her a million times and she never gives me an answer!

Well, perhaps she is aware of something in you that you are not.

There's nothing in me but a whole lot of red, blue, and yellow.

That isn't true, Sollux.

Oh yeah?

Then what else?

Well the evidence is right here that you are not as empty as you think.

[She picks up one of his pokemon and places the little creature in Sollux's lap.]

Do you really believe these creatures would be so devoted to you if you were a heartless, broken thing?

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