one (video) ♊ go on ahead; will you ever make it back?

[viiru2alert]

[The feed clicks on to show a very angry black-haired boy, his background a striking contrast of gently shuffling leaves; it's obvious by the scenery that this kid hasn't gotten much farther than New Bark, and one might even be able to catch a glance of houses in the distance. Slightly visible off-screen is the limb of some kind of small brown Pokémon, spinning around rhythmically and humming its name in a low drone: Bal-toy. Bal-toy. Bal-toy. It seems this unfortunate tendency has put the newbie Trainer in something of a... mood. He turns around and swats the thing lightly with one hand, the other still holding onto his PokéGear.]

Will you shut up? I already have this music playing, I don't need you too.

[The Baltoy squeaks in surprise, but obliges, spinning silently now. The boy sighs deeply and returns his attention to the PokéGear. He commences speaking to the microphone now; several of his teeth are visibly pointed and oversized, to the degree where they give him a noticeable lisp. He's also wearing glasses with red and blue lenses -- making him immediately identifiable if you knew him in a past life.]

Okay, I don't know what kind of terrible fucking joke this is supposed to be, but I am really not in the mood for it. So congratulations, ED. You've actually managed to throw your shitty magic at things enough to do something of moderate skill and importance. Good job.

Now get me the fuck out!

[Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.]

Comments

video;

[usedshooshpap]

CAPTOR!

[ no multiples for this one. JUST SHOUTING OUT OF BARELY DISGUISED PURE JOY. ]

...

What the fuck, man. Don't yell at your goddamn partner in this less than magical journey, you shit licker.

[viiru2alert]

WHAT.

[Sollux had gotten used to Karkat's emotional screaming by now, but he could only guess that this change to a human (because obviously he was not the only one missing horns in this endeavor -- what the fuck had Eridan done?) had affected his vocal chords somehow. Because that sounded like a happy scream. He never gets a happy scream.]

I wouldn't have to yell at this pile of discharge if it didn't have to summon a goddamn horrorterror or whatever it's doing all the fucking time.

[usedshooshpap]

[ stares. long and hard. ]

Take the red and white ball and hold it towards your Baltoy and tell it to return.

[viiru2alert]

[He does so. His expression doesn't change when the Baltoy returns with a quiet sucking noise, but his tone does. It's a fair bit relieved now.] Thank god.

[Sollux drops the Pokéball into his bag, clearly conveying that he intends to never open it again for as long as he lives; whether he actually does or not is up for debate. But instead, he hunches further over the PokéGear to get a better look at Karkat. Human. Squishy and flush-colored as it gets.] So you're here too.

[He picks a leaf out of his hair, eyeing it with disgust before dropping it on the ground.] Mind imparting some of your vast leaderly knowledge as to what in fuck is going on?

[usedshooshpap]

What you just put away was your partnered Pokébeast. I have several of them by now...

[ Karkat motions to behind him. he's got a Beartic sitting next to his shiny Haxorus. both seem to be too preoccupied by eating. there's also a Joltik climbing on his shoulder, but ignore that. ]

Since this place isn't very welcoming to anyone who isn't human, we all get changed upon arrival. Time shenanigans are at fucking work too. I'm from the future in your perspective. John is way in the fucking past for the both of us. Whatever force that transported us here apparently doesn't give a shit about continuity or consistency as far as time goes.

John, Rose, Vriska, and Jade have been here for a long time. Me? It's getting close to half a goddamn sweep.

[viiru2alert]

[What the fuck... even... are those things. You get a brief and hugely entertaining "WTF" face from Sollux, but as the description suggests, it doesn't last long; soon enough he's back to looking angry, though it's at a much lesser level now that he has a constant stream of information in the form of Karkat. It seems there's going to be a lot he doesn't know, though, with all of this time nonsense, and plus the -- jesus christ, half a sweep?! -- Karkat and the others spent... great. That's really. Great.]

Sounds like a party.

[usedshooshpap]

Says you. I spent most of it catering to the every whim of a very blind Captor until about a month ago.

[ no, really. Karkat paid for everything, working to support both Eridan and Sollux. ]

That reminds me. I have a beast from the former you that was here. Do you want it?

text

[roemance]

[The only thing stopping Eridan from complaining about Sollux turning up too is the fact that he seems to be even more pissed off and somehow thinks he is responsible for his misfortune. So he'll hide behind text for as long as he can and gloat.]

evveryone knowws magic isnt real sol
i think youre mistakin it for my wwhite science powwers that wwere obvviously better than yours
so howw do you like your human look
its evven wworse than bein a mustardblood
so kinda suits you

text; assuming this happens after the previous thread

[viiru2alert]

you know, iim not even goiing to humor that.
iit2 magiic.
magiic, ed.
magiickey magiical magic.
youre a wiizard erii and all that crap.
and ju2t 2o you know, fiive boonbuck2 2ays that youre 2tuck iin a fle2hmonkey2 body too.
iive 2een kk.

yes 8)

[roemance]

[well FUCK so much for that]

its science so STOP SAYIN ITS MAGIC
i knoww youre at a disadvvantage wwhat wwith that mutant thinkpan a yours but it should still be able to grasp somethin simple such as wwhether somethins real or made up in fantasy land
or maybe im just bein too optimistic here

[viiru2alert]

[He can read you like a book, fishtongue.]

iit2 2parkle2 and faeriie2 and you look 2tupiid for 2ugge2tiing otherwii2e.
though ii gue22 that iisnt a new 2en2atiion for you.
al2o, gue22 what?
we BOTH have mutant thiinkpan2 now, 2o you can take that dii2kcandy and 2uck iit.

[roemance]

[urgh he doesn't even have a comeback for that, it's true. Stupid lousy human bodies URGH]

wwhatEVVER im clearly still better than you
i mean for starters i already havve an awwesome pokebeast
look at the one you havve it acts half retarded
pretty good matchup if you ask me

[viiru2alert]

yeah ed, iim 2ure you are.
and at lea2t miine ha2 an owner who2 only half retarded.
what kiind of poor creature diid they 2end two follow you around?

[video]

[8etterl8]

Well, well, you too huh? It's like Sgrub arrival week in Johto or some stupid shit. [Vriska's rolling her eyes. Strider, Ampora, now Captor. Who else?]

Hate to break it to you, but Eridan had nothing to do with this fuck up. This is some other weird shit entirely.

video 5ever

[viiru2alert]

[Sollux is rolling his eyes too, don't worry.] Should have known it was beyond his limited capability.

video

[8etterl8]

Waaaaaaaay beyond. No way the douchefin could do something of this magnitude.

Welcome to the human version of Fiduspawn basically. You capture beasts and battle with them or breed them. You can challenge others, and collect badges. Grub stuff, but not entirely lame and boring.

Re: video

[viiru2alert]

[He's listening intently to her explanation; it's brief, but Karkat didn't really explain much past what a Pokémon was and why he was suddenly lacking horns, so this information is welcomed. ...Not that he's going to show it, of course, and especially not to her.] No? Sounds pretty lame and boring to me.

video

[8etterl8]

[She shrugs.] It only gets stupidly boring when you get stuck in one town for way too long. Tavros and I were stuck in Ecruteak for-fucking-ever at some point. Uggghhh.

[viiru2alert]

How'd you get stuck? [There are so many ways to get out of a place, aren't there? Especially now that you have slobbery flying death bats.]

video;

[extinguishescandles]

[Oh jeez it's cranky Sollux again. Not that this is particularly bad, John just never quite managed to get the hang of talking to bipolar Sollux as opposed to blind Sollux.]

Hate to break it to you, but whoever ED is...Eridan, I'm guessing? [He's familiar with Sollux's pattern of nicknaming, but not that particular combination.] Anyway, they can't get you out and it wasn't them who sent you here. But it's really not so bad here! It's much better than being back home, honestly.

[viiru2alert]

Yeah, Eridan. [His tone is pretty grim.] And what makes it so great? From all the accounts I've heard so far, it's just as bad as being back home, except home didn't run like a game of fucking Fiduspawn.

durrr this is a video...

[extinguishescandles]

Well Jack's not here. Nobody has to die or fuck up or any of that other stuff here.

[Not that he's been through any of that himself but he's heard stories. YOU CAN JUST BE A KID HERE SOLLUX, IT'S GREAT......]

video killed the subject bar

[viiru2alert]

[Well maybe he doesn't want to be a kid, maybe he just likes waiting to die all the time, maybe he... is arguing for argument's sake, fuck.]

Bullshit. There is always room to die and fuck up.

apparently so.

[extinguishescandles]

Well yeah we can still fuck up, sure. But not in the catastrophic sense. Dying on the other hand, is pretty much impossible.

Re: apparently so.

[viiru2alert]

How? [Okay that sounded very incredulous. How can you never die? Unless they all upped and ascended to God Tier in the meantime, which is almost certainly impossible?]