twinArmageddons ♊ Sollux Captor (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
viiru2alert) wrote2013-01-12 04:17 pm
viiru2alert) wrote2013-01-12 04:17 pm
Entry tags:
seven (text) ♊ if you're strong, you'll survive, and you'll keep your dream alive
Hello PokéGear network, this is your captain speaking.
At least I might as well be. This is Sollux Captor, aka the guy who may as well have repaired every single damn Gear in the Johto-Kanto area, and I'm not here to talk about my shitty job. I'm here to talk about why I'm not using hideous mustard-yellow text: it's because i'm about to spill a textdump and, for the first time in my life, mind, I'm using the normal font for your convenience.
It's recently come to my attention that all of you suck, suck, suck at battling.
Not at the technique or the power, no. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are great at that. But for every Trainer who isn't aiming to be the top of the Pokémon League, and are just doing this for whatever reason, let me ask you something: the only Pokémon you've fought with in the past month have been wild ones, right? To train your Pokémon? If you're like most people, I'm right. We have here a world inhabited by creatures of immense magical and physical power, and we're not even using any of them... even though we make them fight the local wildlife critters as though we are. Doesn't that strike you as a little bit retarded?
So for this reason, I've had some nice chats with some friends of mine for this idea I got the other day.
It's called the Pokémon Fight Club. That is exactly what it is.
It's basically a little... battle meeting, I guess you would call it, that doesn't depend on meeting in a certain location. Think of it like a game, a video game if you're familiar with that kind of stuff, where you can go out into the world and play this game with anyone you happen to meet on whatever Route you're on. It's like that. But with Pokémon battles. The whole point of this is to fight way more interesting and challenging opponents than the uneducated heathens in the tall grass, and I guess you can meet people and make friends too, if you're into that kind of stuff. And, of course, promote a healthy and friendly battling culture in the middle of all these goddamn Breeders.
Everyone in the PFC doesn't have to attend meetings or whatever to be a member, because that's just impractical. We're all traveling Trainers, for fuck's sake. What you do need to do is keep a binder or a notebook or a PokéGear document for the sole purpose of keeping track of your PFC battles. If you want, we can even have a contest or something at the end of the year for people who did a shitton of battling, and whoever won the most legitimate battles wins. It would really help if you had video documentation of these battles, too; take them with your PokéGear and save them onto your accounts in the PC. That makes it a lot easier for everyone, seriously.
The way this works is with an armband. Just any old armband will do, we won't make you spend 2000 Poké on a special one. You're walking along the Route and gee whiz, that person walking on the opposite side of the road is wearing an armband! Now what the fuck does that mean? It means they're part of the PFC, that's what it means. Every Trainer in the PFC needs to show everyone else that they're part of the PFC and are therefore open to battling anytime, anywhere. If you're wearing an armband it means you have to accept every single battle offer you get from some other person wearing an armband, and it also means you should be on the lookout for other people also wearing armbands so you can challenge them, too. And if you're worried about your poor little babies being forced into a fight when they're too weak to hold their ground, here's an idea: take off the armband.
I love bolding things. Christ.
Anyway, these armbands serve another purpose. You may be worried about walking up to a Trainer, asking them for a battle, and not knowing that they secretly have a team of obscenely powerful Dragon-types that they're pitting against your level five Igglybuff. We have a fix for this. They're the armbands. We have certain "color tiers" of armband, and each tier stands for a different level. That way, if you challenge a team of obscenely powerful Dragon-types with your level five Igglybuff, you were completely informed beforehand and it is literally completely your fault. (By the way, this is the exception to the "every battle rule": if the other guy has a band at least two tiers higher than yours, then you can turn him down. You can also sleep nicely with the knowledge that he is a giant flaming asshole and will probably be struck by divine lightning at some point in the future.)
I'm sure there are a bunch of people who are great with sewing and all that shit, and they can make you custom armbands with little designs on them. That's totally okay. Just as long as the dominant color is still your color tier. You know what happens when it's not? Dragon-type guy comes back and he thinks you're in his tier, but you still have your level five Igglybuff. It is still completely your fault.
Here's the color tiers.
1-10: Red
11-20: Brown
21-30: Orange
31-40: Yellow
41-50: Green
51-60: Teal
61-70: Blue
71-80: Purple
81-90: Pink
91-100: Black
100: White
Oh, also. Say you want to train a bunch of people on your main team, but some of them felt like super overachievers the other day and are now in a different tier than your other ones. Or they're in a lower tier because they're lazy or you just caught them or something. Please, for the love of god, don't wear six armbands, you look stupid. Instead, go find some small badges (not Badges, mind, you're just asking to be robbed if you do that) of different colors. Pick the tier that most of your team is on. Then pin on a badge for every Pokémon that's not in the tier encompassed by your armband. So if you have six Pokémon and four of them are green, but one of them is yellow and one of them is teal, then pin a yellow badge and a teal badge on your green band. Simple.
If enough people look like they might actually care about this, then I'll flesh it out more, even write up a more detailed rules page. But for now, if you've got any response to this idea (even if it's just a stupid looking GIF), then by all means, post that shit.
Yours insincerely,
2ollux captor.
At least I might as well be. This is Sollux Captor, aka the guy who may as well have repaired every single damn Gear in the Johto-Kanto area, and I'm not here to talk about my shitty job. I'm here to talk about why I'm not using hideous mustard-yellow text: it's because i'm about to spill a textdump and, for the first time in my life, mind, I'm using the normal font for your convenience.
It's recently come to my attention that all of you suck, suck, suck at battling.
Not at the technique or the power, no. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are great at that. But for every Trainer who isn't aiming to be the top of the Pokémon League, and are just doing this for whatever reason, let me ask you something: the only Pokémon you've fought with in the past month have been wild ones, right? To train your Pokémon? If you're like most people, I'm right. We have here a world inhabited by creatures of immense magical and physical power, and we're not even using any of them... even though we make them fight the local wildlife critters as though we are. Doesn't that strike you as a little bit retarded?
So for this reason, I've had some nice chats with some friends of mine for this idea I got the other day.
It's called the Pokémon Fight Club. That is exactly what it is.
It's basically a little... battle meeting, I guess you would call it, that doesn't depend on meeting in a certain location. Think of it like a game, a video game if you're familiar with that kind of stuff, where you can go out into the world and play this game with anyone you happen to meet on whatever Route you're on. It's like that. But with Pokémon battles. The whole point of this is to fight way more interesting and challenging opponents than the uneducated heathens in the tall grass, and I guess you can meet people and make friends too, if you're into that kind of stuff. And, of course, promote a healthy and friendly battling culture in the middle of all these goddamn Breeders.
Everyone in the PFC doesn't have to attend meetings or whatever to be a member, because that's just impractical. We're all traveling Trainers, for fuck's sake. What you do need to do is keep a binder or a notebook or a PokéGear document for the sole purpose of keeping track of your PFC battles. If you want, we can even have a contest or something at the end of the year for people who did a shitton of battling, and whoever won the most legitimate battles wins. It would really help if you had video documentation of these battles, too; take them with your PokéGear and save them onto your accounts in the PC. That makes it a lot easier for everyone, seriously.
The way this works is with an armband. Just any old armband will do, we won't make you spend 2000 Poké on a special one. You're walking along the Route and gee whiz, that person walking on the opposite side of the road is wearing an armband! Now what the fuck does that mean? It means they're part of the PFC, that's what it means. Every Trainer in the PFC needs to show everyone else that they're part of the PFC and are therefore open to battling anytime, anywhere. If you're wearing an armband it means you have to accept every single battle offer you get from some other person wearing an armband, and it also means you should be on the lookout for other people also wearing armbands so you can challenge them, too. And if you're worried about your poor little babies being forced into a fight when they're too weak to hold their ground, here's an idea: take off the armband.
I love bolding things. Christ.
Anyway, these armbands serve another purpose. You may be worried about walking up to a Trainer, asking them for a battle, and not knowing that they secretly have a team of obscenely powerful Dragon-types that they're pitting against your level five Igglybuff. We have a fix for this. They're the armbands. We have certain "color tiers" of armband, and each tier stands for a different level. That way, if you challenge a team of obscenely powerful Dragon-types with your level five Igglybuff, you were completely informed beforehand and it is literally completely your fault. (By the way, this is the exception to the "every battle rule": if the other guy has a band at least two tiers higher than yours, then you can turn him down. You can also sleep nicely with the knowledge that he is a giant flaming asshole and will probably be struck by divine lightning at some point in the future.)
I'm sure there are a bunch of people who are great with sewing and all that shit, and they can make you custom armbands with little designs on them. That's totally okay. Just as long as the dominant color is still your color tier. You know what happens when it's not? Dragon-type guy comes back and he thinks you're in his tier, but you still have your level five Igglybuff. It is still completely your fault.
Here's the color tiers.
1-10: Red
11-20: Brown
21-30: Orange
31-40: Yellow
41-50: Green
51-60: Teal
61-70: Blue
71-80: Purple
81-90: Pink
91-100: Black
100: White
Oh, also. Say you want to train a bunch of people on your main team, but some of them felt like super overachievers the other day and are now in a different tier than your other ones. Or they're in a lower tier because they're lazy or you just caught them or something. Please, for the love of god, don't wear six armbands, you look stupid. Instead, go find some small badges (not Badges, mind, you're just asking to be robbed if you do that) of different colors. Pick the tier that most of your team is on. Then pin on a badge for every Pokémon that's not in the tier encompassed by your armband. So if you have six Pokémon and four of them are green, but one of them is yellow and one of them is teal, then pin a yellow badge and a teal badge on your green band. Simple.
If enough people look like they might actually care about this, then I'll flesh it out more, even write up a more detailed rules page. But for now, if you've got any response to this idea (even if it's just a stupid looking GIF), then by all means, post that shit.
Yours insincerely,
2ollux captor.
[text]
What a wonderful idea! The chance to meet other trainers and bond over your respective strengths and discipline, a true clash of noble souls! You can consider me greatly interested, my friend!
[[...you know it's probably good this is only over text, because it's forcing him to keep his shirt on. If only it were video and he could display his glee with a show of his gleaming muscles.......]]
Tell me; if we have Pokemon of varying levels, would it be possible to wear many different colours of armband, to represent them all? Or would it be more appropriate to participate only with teams of a certain level range?
[text]
anyway, there2 a badge 2y2tem iin place here. youre the 2econd one two a2k about iit, 2o ii gue22 ii should ediit it iintwo the maiin post now, but here2 the ba2iic2.
get a band for the hiighe2t tiier you own.
then, get a badge for every pokémon who2 not iin that tiier.
ju2t wear them promiinently.
and iif you have ii gue22 four guy2 iin teal and one guy iin blue and green, ju2t go ahead and wear the teal one.
thii2 ii2 better than multiiple armband2 becau2e you can 2how how many pokémon go out of your tiier wiithout weariing liike 2ix thiing2 on your arm.
[text]
An acceptable suggestion! I must admit, this sounds rather exciting. There is simply no challenge in fighting wild Pokemon, and besides, it's terribly rude!
[text]
iif there wa2 ever any challenge or exciitement iin battling wiild aniimal2, then ii wa2 obviiou2ly doiing 2omethiing wrong.
what do you mean wiith rude, though?
[text]
That or popping out of the shrubbery and ripping off his shirt to reveal said bands as a statement of battling intent!!
...
sollux what have you wrought]]
Ah, purposefully seeking out wild Pokemon to attack! I would feel rather put out if someone approached me in my natural environment and started attacking without rhyme or reason! But then again, who would be foolish enough to challenge ~*~Alex Louis Armstrong~*~?
[[For your own sanity, consider that a rhetorical question.]]
[text]
wow, you ju2t... put 2parkle2 around your name.
uniironiically.
that ii2 a thiing that happened.
[Sollux is beginning to get the distinct impression that this Armstrong guy isn't all there in the head.]
[text]
GAZE UPON THESE BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED MUSCLES AND KNOW THAT IT IS TIME TO THROW THE HELL DOWN]]
It looks rather majestic, doesn't it? Of course, it's nothing compared to the dazzling visions I'm capable of sending over the video function, but one must make do! I think it is an acceptable substitute!
Now if only I could work out how to change the colour to something more...appropriate...
[[this complete lack of irony here, sollux
this complete lack]]
[text]
[Oh god, his eyes.]
you can cau2e iillu2iion2?
ii thought power2 were taken away when you come iintwo thii2 2hiithole!
fuck!
[text]
JOHTO WOULD NEVER FORGIVE YOU]]
No mere force of nature could ever strip these glorious muscles away from ~*~Alex Louis Armstrong~*~! Even the very will of Johto itself was not enough!
As regions go, it has rather good taste!
[text]
well, color me PII22ED THE FUCK OFF.
ii want my goddamn p2iioniic2 iif you can have your illu2iion2!
[text]
Oh? Tell me, my friend what is a...'p2iioniic2'?
[[HE'S....BASICALLY BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS KIND OF HELLA RIDICULOUS TO HIM
TOO...POLITE TO SAY SO THOUGH....]]
[text]
ii had 2ome where ii came from.
thii2 body took iit away.
[text]
don't you dare talk like that]]
My dear friend, it pains me to hear you speak of your body in such a way! While it is true that a body such as mine is a rare jewel, I don't need to lay eyes on you to know that yours is perfect! I will not listen to you insult yourself like this!!
[[Body Acceptance with Alex Louis Armstrong!!]]
[text]
iit2 a 2hiitty human approxiimatiion of miine!
ii liiked my old one ju2t fiine, but no, apparently thii2 world ju2t cant handle iit.
[text]
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[textJACK]
something like that?
or like
~*~Alex Louis Armstrong~*~
or like
~*~Alex Louis Armstrong~*~
i can send you a how to on changing text colors :D
[ helping to troll Sollux is productive right? ]
[textJACK]
WHY
[textJACK]
im just being helpful sollux calm down
[ no she's just trolling you she's in no way being helpful. ]
Re: [textJACK]
YOU PIIECE OF GRUBFUCKIING 2HIIT
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUVE DONE
[textJACK]
i would have thought that would be obvious
[textJACK]
YOU WIILL REGRET THII2
NOOOOOOOOOO
[textJACK]
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[textJACK]
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[textJACK] awltkjsslerktjlkersjtlkjetr
[textJACK] not at all sorry
[textJACK] i can't stop laughing
[textJACK] i can't stop laughing
[textJACK]
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[text] THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS KILLING ME
WHO ARE YOU AND CAN HE MARRY YOU
SUCH IN-DEPTH UNDERSTANDING OF THE SPARKLE.....HE IS SHEDDING THE MOST MANLY OF TEARS...!!!]]
Is this an angel I have had appear before me?! Reading this most beautiful of textual messages is bringing a tear to my eye!
My dear friend, if you would do me the privilige of sending such information to my Gear, I would be your humble servant and grant you the sight of these most beautiful of muscles whenever you choose!! I must know your name!
[text] LBR ARMSTRONG NEEDED THIS KNOWLEDGE. no regrets.
im not an angel im a troll!
well a human now but :)
ill send it right over
although you dont need to show me muscles in exchange??
i mean the information is free
so dont worry about it!!
im aradia megido!
its a pleasure to make your acquaintance alex
[ A few seconds later a text file comes his way with the wonders of the font color="COLOR" tag. Option 1 was BE81F7, option 2 was B404AE, and option 3 abused this generator. HAVE FUN, MAJOR. ]
[text] A TRUE SERVICE FOR THE JOHTO REGION TBH!!
HOW TRULY WONDERFUL!
[[aradia
aradia no
what have you done]]
Finally I find myself unbound by the limits of the text function! You have truly brightened my world, Miss Aradia, and all of those with whom I will converse in the future!
[[now wait a sec there]]
Why on earth would you refer to yourself as a 'troll', my dear?
[text] how many people will hate her for this
im a troll because that is actually my species back home!
i was not a human nor was i from the universe the humans were from
so while i realize that it is apparently a sort of insult for humans
its actually just a thing that is factual for me and sollux as well
and im glad you feel unbound!
back home everyone types in colour
except karkat
[text] just wait until his next post....
So ah, you are from another universe, my dear?
[[HE CAN DEFS KEEP UP WITH THIS
IT'S A BIT WEIRD BUT YOU'RE LIKE HIS IDOL ATM SO HE'LL AGREE WITH ANYTHING YOU SAY]]
A very colourful universe, by the sounds!
[[......]]
How beautiful!
[text] ...well now I'm excited for this
[text] his route!anniversary is the 20th and it shall be BRIGHT
[text] PERFECT ANNIVERSARY GIFT RIGHT
[text] AND ONE HE GETS TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE ;A;
[text] THEY'RE ALL WELCOME