thirteen (text) ♊ i won't release tomorrow. i won't entomb yesterday.

[viiru2alert]

[On the 25th, a video pops up on the PokéGear. If the thread hasn't gotten to that point yet, there will be a big, embarrassing temper tantrum involved on Sollux's part, over his inability to CATCH A FUCKING FOSSIL FISH while it's swarming. If anyone responds, he doesn't see it.]

[And then, several days later...]

hey guy2.
2o ii gue22 2ome of you mu2t have 2aw that viideo earliier, huh?
iif you diidnt, dont worry about iit, iiit2 not iimportant.
iin fact iit i2nt even real.
fuckiin fake.
kk and ii (kk being the shorter one) were just kiind of fuckiing aroudn on the pokégear and we got iin an argument for old tiimes 2ake. we do that all the tiime, it's ok, nothiing came of iit.
ii mean the argument wa2nt even real anyway.
fuckin fakey fake viideo.
2o dont come two me all WOW SOLLYX YOU ARE A FUCKING WIIMP WHYD YOU FLIIP OUT LIIKE THAAT.
becau2e ii diidnt.d efiiniitely not.
i don't even know why kk po2ted iit to be hone2t.

yeeah thats iit, captwor out


[Obviously, he's lying through his mutant oversized teeth. Feel free to mock him relentlessly; you'll probably get a nuclear breakdown on his point, but hey, at least it'll be funny.]

Comments

[viiru2alert]

look at hiim, ladiie2 and gemtlemen!
karkat vanta2 tryiing once agaiin two create u2ele22 2triife iin the world!
2HAME ON HIIM.

[usedshooshpap]

GOD, I HATE YOU.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TEMPTED I AM TO HUNT YOUR NON EXISTENT ASS DOWN AND BEAT YOU BLOODY?

[viiru2alert]

you already know whiich ciity, go for iit.

[papshooshing]

NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT?
I'D **HATE** TO STEAL YOU AWAY FROM ERIDAN.

[viiru2alert]

no, plea2e.
do.

[usedshooshpap]

YOU TWO CLEARLY DESERVE EACH OTHER.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO COME BETWEEN THAT.

dun dun DUNNNN

[viiru2alert]

but kk, ii dont thiink you under2tand.
ii wa2 never iin hatelove wiith eriidan or obiito or anybody.




anybody except you.

oh noes drama!!!

[papshooshing]

2WOOOOOOON!

[viiru2alert]

my bloodpu2her ii2 fiilled two bur2tiing wiith burniing black dokii2 for you.
plea2e, kk.
take me away.

[papshooshing]

OH I WILL SWOOP IN LIKE A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR, RIDING MY MIGHTY STEED.
OFF INTO THE CLOUDS WE WILL SOAR, HIGHER AND HIGHER.
I'LL SHOW YOU SIGHTS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN!
THEN I WILL PROMPTLY SHOVE YOU OFF AND WATCH YOU PLUMMET TO THE GROUND
AND
LAUGH.

[viiru2alert]

why, could you be tryiing two 2educe me, mr. vanta2??

[usedshooshpap]

OH YOU KNOW IT, HONEYBEE.

[viiru2alert]

ii really dont thiink iim prepared for thii2, kk.
ii mean....
iit2 all 2o 2udden.