eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

[viiru2alert]

[Good evening, friends. Sollux kicks this feed off with a shot of four baby Pokémon -- a Dratini, Bulbasaur, Venipede, and Larvitar -- all kind of napping or something together. The Gear lingers on them for a second, and then twirls back around so everyone watching can get an eyeful of Sollux's hideous glasses. Oh god they're awful.] So, since Team Megido has now touched base in Olivine and I have nothing to do because, oh look, I already have my motherfucking Gym Badge [this was directed towards someone off-screen], I decided that now would be a great time to dick around a little on the PokéGear.

So, it's getting damn close to summer. The weather's getting warmer and it's fucking fabulous, I literally couldn't be happier with the current state of the thermometer right now. Unfortunately, all of the springtime fun and allergies and shit also meant that I have four freshly-hatched little asswipes crawling around all over the place. I think everyone's kind of sick of them by no-- oh, wait, did I say four? Sorry, meant five. [And the screen moves AGAIN, to a picture of an adorable baby Vullaby picking at her feathers.] Look at that bitch. Found her wandering around in the Safari Zone. Do you people know how long I've been looking for one of these? Way too fucking long.

[And then the feed goes back to him. Maybe he's done gloating about his altogether unremarkable accomplishments... maybe.] And now I'm going to get back on topic. Summer. Back on Trollplanet, the Dim Season didn't mean much except the night-time got hotter, and the day-time got... well, also hotter, but the sun also kind of scorched all of your skin off if you walked out there anyway. There weren't any of these... festivals or holidays or shit. In fact, there weren't any festivals at all.

So, what's the difference between a festival and those godawful parties? Please tell me they're at least bigger. I've been dragged to several holiday parties now and all of them have had too many people in not enough room.

Comments

[itsjustdust]

[Have a confused face.]

I didn't think you had any social issues, you're pretty good at this.

[viiru2alert]

Really.

[ ... ]

Really.

[itsjustdust]

What?! You and me have gotten along pretty well from the start!

[Why are you reacting like that?!]

[viiru2alert]

Yeah, well, you're response to vitriolic assholes and most other people's responses to vitriolic assholes are pretty different.

And that's why I keep talking to you anyway.

[itsjustdust]

What? What do you mean it's different? How??

[viiru2alert]

You keep on talking to me where most other people just give the fuck up.

[itsjustdust]

But you're easy to talk to! Fun even! [He's beyond clueless now.]

[viiru2alert]

...

[Ouch. Right in the kokoro.]

...No, you're just fucked up.

[itsjustdust]

[HE DOESN'T GET YOUR REACTION AT ALL MAN!]

I am not! No seriously, I am not getting why you're saying all this and it's gettin a little annoying.

[viiru2alert]

Too bad, 'cause it's true. Ask anyone else.

[itsjustdust]

Obviously everyone else needs a clue. [He clearly believes this.]

[viiru2alert]

Obviously you need a clue if you can't tell a fucked-up asshole like me from a regular person.

[itsjustdust]

Don't give me that, I'm used to dealing with a fucked up asshole all the time, and you're way more laid back than he is.

[viiru2alert]

Yeah right.

[itsjustdust]

What's with that skepticism?! I'm not joking!

[viiru2alert]

There is literally no one in the world who is more fucked up than me.

[itsjustdust]

Then you hide it a whole lot better than my teammate.

[viiru2alert]

...

This is dumb.

[itsjustdust]

I could have told you that five minutes ago.

[viiru2alert]

Then why didn't you?

[itsjustdust]

Because I was curious. [Wasn't that obvious?]

[viiru2alert]

Whatever, fucko. Let's change the topic.

[itsjustdust]

[He snorted a laugh.] Yeah, sure.

So what's your color theme?

[viiru2alert]

Red and blue. [Immediately.] Black and white, also, occasionally. But I like red and blue more.

[itsjustdust]

Red is one of my family colors, so I never felt right trying to make it a personal color. What do you like about it?

Like, associating it with.