viiru2alert | eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

[Good evening, friends. Sollux kicks this feed off with a shot of four baby Pokémon -- a Dratini, Bulbasaur, Venipede, and Larvitar -- all kind of napping or something together. The Gear lingers on them for a second, and then twirls back around so everyone watching can get an eyeful of Sollux's hideous glasses. Oh god they're awful.] So, since Team Megido has now touched base in Olivine and I have nothing to do because, oh look, I already have my motherfucking Gym Badge [this was directed towards someone off-screen], I decided that now would be a great time to dick around a little on the PokéGear.

So, it's getting damn close to summer. The weather's getting warmer and it's fucking fabulous, I literally couldn't be happier with the current state of the thermometer right now. Unfortunately, all of the springtime fun and allergies and shit also meant that I have four freshly-hatched little asswipes crawling around all over the place. I think everyone's kind of sick of them by no-- oh, wait, did I say four? Sorry, meant five. [And the screen moves AGAIN, to a picture of an adorable baby Vullaby picking at her feathers.] Look at that bitch. Found her wandering around in the Safari Zone. Do you people know how long I've been looking for one of these? Way too fucking long.

[And then the feed goes back to him. Maybe he's done gloating about his altogether unremarkable accomplishments... maybe.] And now I'm going to get back on topic. Summer. Back on Trollplanet, the Dim Season didn't mean much except the night-time got hotter, and the day-time got... well, also hotter, but the sun also kind of scorched all of your skin off if you walked out there anyway. There weren't any of these... festivals or holidays or shit. In fact, there weren't any festivals at all.

So, what's the difference between a festival and those godawful parties? Please tell me they're at least bigger. I've been dragged to several holiday parties now and all of them have had too many people in not enough room.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Of course I did! I just haven't gotten any since... like, noon or something.

[He checks his Gear. It's 7:00 PM.]

...that's still dinnertime, right?

[She just sighs.]

Just go get it, Sollux. We will keep an eye on them.

[She turns and glances around, and Sunshine the roselia comes running over to help herd the baby pokemon.]

I'm going, I'm going.

[He goes.]

[And, right when Sollux thinks he's out of Kanaya's line of sight (he's not), he hits himself a bit too hard in the head. DAMMIT CAPTOR]

[Sollux is lucky enough that Kanaya doesn't notice, or at least she doesn't react. She seems fairly intent on gathering up the baby pokemon into a little circle with her own pokemon keeping them from getting too far away.]

[He snorted a laugh.] Yeah, sure.

So what's your color theme?

The most obvious reason would be the fact that it would not lead to Bad Decisions during their childhood.

[beat.]

The other reason would be alcohol is dangerous for undeveloped digestive system.

Honestly, I can't really argue with you on that. There's a lot of evidence to suggest that humans have actually declined over the centuries rather than advanced in terms of the sorts of things they can do under their own power-legendary heroes such as Gilgamesh and Alexander the Great couldn't be considered "weak and squishy" by any means, and if humanity was still in their league then we'd likely have very little difficulty conquering the known universe. As it is, the majority of humanity is in a completely deplorable state and relies on technology to compensate for their lack of any real ability. Even the most powerful mages of my generation pale in comparison to those who practiced magic even several centuries back.

[Sollux shrugs and looks off to the side, and when he speaks it's in a very small voice, like a whisper.]

You're... different from me.

Red and blue. [Immediately.] Black and white, also, occasionally. But I like red and blue more.

Huh. Trolls probably have a stronger digestive system than humans do.

... And a different definition of Bad Decisions, now that you mention it.

This actually makes a lot of sense.

Red is one of my family colors, so I never felt right trying to make it a personal color. What do you like about it?

Like, associating it with.

[...trolls. Come to think of it, this is the first time he got the hint that the guy's probably someone similar to Aradia.]

Well, if you need to ask me more things about human things, feel free.

[doesn't mean he knows all the answers to everything, though it's probably 42 for the most part.]

[ There's a short pause, but her answers should have been expected - probably because of the reason given. ]

That's not stupid.

It's totally stupid.

The duality of it. Red and blue, black and white. You know?

[He blinked, then frowned a little.] Aren't red and blue part of a three part set?

Well, trolls kind of rely on technology too. Some of us do. Though to be honest, my caste is the most involved with technology as a whole, because higher-blooded trolls tend to go for more... primal approaches. The lowbloods who have powers use them, and the ones who don't use technology. [And then there's the nutcases like him.]

I have the Internet for that, but if in any instance it ever fails me, you'll be the first guy I call.

Yeah, yellow. The colour of my blood. Yellow is kind of a shitty colour though.

Yellow? Why yellow? I was thinking green.

Yeah, good luck with finding useful things in the 'Net.

[since it's clearly 10% good and 90% useless.]

Rather be 10% correct than 0%.

Nope! It's not stupid. Sorry, Sollux, you can't win a fight if your answer is something untrue.

I suppose I can understand that, to an extent... honestly, we mages tend to have a dim view of modern technology as a general rule because to us it seems like poor, laughable attempts to replicate our successes when we can do better under our own power... but I really can't say how we'd view things if we were in a position like lowbloods.

Then again, I've always seen that aspect of your society as being a bit backwards due to my own personal biases.

...And being positive wouldn't hurt too, I suppose.

[SIGH. the people he's stuck with.]

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eleven (video) ♊ vacation's where i wanna be

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