viiru2alert | three (video) ♊ good friends are those who stick together

[Attached to this post is a short audio file that seems to play itself automatically when the post is opened for the first time; even though the Gear says that Sollux posted this, the voice clearly isn’t his. It’s high and squeaky, just as grainy as any other Gear call, but the dialogue goes something like this – “Hi, Sollux! I just saw you get the Zephyr Badge from Falkner, that was so cool! Well, that’s all! Later!”]

[Who knows how Sollux did that, but he’s Sollux, so anyone who knows him probably shouldn’t have it come as much of a surprise. Another thing that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise is the fact that he looks absolutely miserable. Granted, Sollux looks absolutely miserable anyway, but judging from that audio post it seems like he’s actually justified this time; Sollux has apparently become the next victim of every Trainer’s sworn enemy…]

[…Juggler Irwin.]

Hey, I’ve got a question.

This asshole has been calling me incessantly about pretty much every step I took since leaving Goldenrod. He’s a fucking stalker.

...

So, how much do assassination services go for in the Kanto area? Johto too, for that matter?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Talking never killed anybody.

I met him in Goldenrod.

He just told me that he was watching my battle through the window in the Saffron City dojo.

That's a whole other Region, in case you hadn't noticed.

[Takes her gear. Points it at the radio tower to show she's in Goldenrod City. Brings it back and turns it to one of the stores with TVs in the window. Is that a battle going on in Celadon's gym?]

They're taped and shown on the stations all the time. Unless it's out in the wild, anyone can see any gym battle.

No. He specified.

Through the window.

And the dojo isn't even an official Gym, either, so suck it.

Then he just happened to be in the same place! You don't need to assume he's stalking you. I've seen a few people watching battles from the windows here in Goldenrod, so it's really not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be!

[FACEPALM. She just doesn't get it.]

No. He's been doing this for literally every town I stop at, across two Regions. He comments on the guys I travel with. They don't get on the Gym channel.

He's a creepy-ass stalker and someone needs to put him down before he, like, badtouches me or something.

[She's intent on making sure some innocent sap doesn't get killed!] Killing is wrong, especially for a reason like that. It's harmless that he's watching; maybe he just wants to get better.

Then he can stop being such a creep about it.

[You have to understand, Cheria, trolls do not have mental institutions. The socially acceptable thing to do when someone is acting cray-cray is to, you know, kill them in a spectacular manner.]

Then just ask him to do that. If he doesn't listen, contact the authorities. They should be able to do something about him that won't involve killing.

[It's so wrong. Would he even have earned a 'spectacular' death?] He may be one of the simple locals, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have friends and family that would be upset.

...You're kidding, right?

[That. Just that.]

[dis face] Does it look like I'm kidding?! I've seen enough death and hurt at home to know that killing one person means several others are left behind! I highly doubt that changes here!

They'll get over it.

[Callous piece of shit, Sollux Captor.]

...If people are going to die, they should just die. No screaming or anything. Just die.

You are an awful person for wanting something like that.

Yeah, I'm an awful person, we know.

's completely true, though.

[He looks and sounds like he gives less than a quarter of a fuck about this whole conversation. Spoilers: he doesn't.]

Unbelievable.

[She can't take much more of this guy.]

But you can't say I'm wrong, can you?

[Auuugh no don't kill me please I never meant to die oh no oh no oh nooooo. Seriously, just shut up.]

No one deserves death unless they have caused death themselves, and there are obviously circumstances.

Here's the stinger: pretty much everyone has caused death, though.

Even in this shitting-rainbows-barfing-butterflies happy land. I don't buy it for a second that people can't die.

Purposefully attacking someone with the intent to kill. Natural death and accidental death do not count.

No, it wouldn't be normal if no one could pass away, even naturally. Even so, hurting someone to find out if it's true isn't a good option either.

Well I want to find out. And if you're going to kill anyone, it might as well be some creep who's going to be culled anyway.

[FROWNING SO HARD.] There's no convincing you, is there?

Maybe there's not.

[Sollux shrugs. He doesn't know.]

three (video) ♊ good friends are those who stick together

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video; just going to own him here brb-

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video; am i seeing a bee joke about stingers or am i imagining it

sollux doesn't make bee jokes |D

I KNOW, IT JUST.. LOOKED LIKE IT.

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