three (video) ♊ good friends are those who stick together

[viiru2alert]

[Attached to this post is a short audio file that seems to play itself automatically when the post is opened for the first time; even though the Gear says that Sollux posted this, the voice clearly isn’t his. It’s high and squeaky, just as grainy as any other Gear call, but the dialogue goes something like this – “Hi, Sollux! I just saw you get the Zephyr Badge from Falkner, that was so cool! Well, that’s all! Later!”]

[Who knows how Sollux did that, but he’s Sollux, so anyone who knows him probably shouldn’t have it come as much of a surprise. Another thing that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise is the fact that he looks absolutely miserable. Granted, Sollux looks absolutely miserable anyway, but judging from that audio post it seems like he’s actually justified this time; Sollux has apparently become the next victim of every Trainer’s sworn enemy…]

[…Juggler Irwin.]

Hey, I’ve got a question.

This asshole has been calling me incessantly about pretty much every step I took since leaving Goldenrod. He’s a fucking stalker.

...

So, how much do assassination services go for in the Kanto area? Johto too, for that matter?

Comments

yes

[roemance]

[Even hearing it still makes him frown]

We're not friends and newer will be!

yes

[viiru2alert]

Red, red, red, red, bright candy red.

[roemance]

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

[viiru2alert]

Nah.

[roemance]

[Just this]

[viiru2alert]

[Two can play at that game, mister.]

[roemance]

[TURNING HIS GEAR OFF.]

[No wait turning it on again to flip sollux off once more]

[And now turning it off. VICTORY.]

[viiru2alert]

[Remember that old stock applause audio clip?]

[It's back.]

[roemance]

[God he hates that SO MUCH but he can't react otherwise sollux will know he is still checking the posts even after his dramatic exit! Urgh!!]

[viiru2alert]

[Just according to keikaku.]

hijack

[fairycircle]

Knock it off.

hijack

[viiru2alert]

Nah.

[fairycircle]

You don't have to be so rude about all of this. Look, I understand there's a difference in blood colors and that it apparently makes up a social structure. It's not very good in my opinion, but it's something he's still trying to get used to. Waking up in a strange body that uses different colors has to be a little too weird to be okay with right away.

So I would appreciate it if you didn't ruin all of the hard work we've put into trying to let him be more accepting of it!

[viiru2alert]

Implying that Eridan puts hard work into anything.

[Unless you're just deluding yourself about how many shits he gives, which is becoming more and more likely in Sollux's mind.]

[fairycircle]

He's trying. That counts for something.

[viiru2alert]

It just goes to show how worthless he is.

Ooh, baby's trying. Give him a gold star and, hey, put him on a fuckin' pedestal, why don't you.

[fairycircle]

[ugh why are you so infuriating] I'm not saying what he did was okay. But trying to make changes, however small, deserves a chance.

[viiru2alert]

He had a chance. He had a shitload of chances.

Guess what he did with those.

[fairycircle]

I'm not asking you to give him a chance. I'm asking you to at least hang up before you say things that lead him right back into that thinking pattern.

[viiru2alert]

Look, okay, we get it. You've done it. You actually tolerated Eridan Ampora. Here's a prize, with the little 'you tried' sticker and everything.

But it's not going to happen.

[fairycircle]

It's as simple as hanging up! [So totally ignoring all that nonsense in the beginning.] He's going to complain but you already know that, so nip the argument in the bud and just not have it.

[viiru2alert]

But Eridan's bitching is my only source of amusement in this dark, desolate world.

[Okay, now he has to be bullshitting.]

[fairycircle]

There are hundreds of other things you can find entertainment with.

[viiru2alert]

But with Eridan, it just... happens.

As if by magic.

[Even if this is all complete fabrication, Sollux has to admit that it's still a lot of fun.]

[fairycircle]

[Nope.]