three (video) ♊ good friends are those who stick together

[viiru2alert]

[Attached to this post is a short audio file that seems to play itself automatically when the post is opened for the first time; even though the Gear says that Sollux posted this, the voice clearly isn’t his. It’s high and squeaky, just as grainy as any other Gear call, but the dialogue goes something like this – “Hi, Sollux! I just saw you get the Zephyr Badge from Falkner, that was so cool! Well, that’s all! Later!”]

[Who knows how Sollux did that, but he’s Sollux, so anyone who knows him probably shouldn’t have it come as much of a surprise. Another thing that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise is the fact that he looks absolutely miserable. Granted, Sollux looks absolutely miserable anyway, but judging from that audio post it seems like he’s actually justified this time; Sollux has apparently become the next victim of every Trainer’s sworn enemy…]

[…Juggler Irwin.]

Hey, I’ve got a question.

This asshole has been calling me incessantly about pretty much every step I took since leaving Goldenrod. He’s a fucking stalker.

...

So, how much do assassination services go for in the Kanto area? Johto too, for that matter?

Comments

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[shadowdive]

Train more, obviously.

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[viiru2alert]

Already on it, obviously.

[What an intolerable shit grin this kid has.]

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[shadowdive]

Not obviously enough. What's your highest level now anyway?

[It could go crazy instead of shit eating instead.]

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[viiru2alert]

Forty.

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[shadowdive]

Not where they should be. Train harder.

[viiru2alert]

Thanks for the tip, Coach.

[He flips a bird in Vanitas' direction for good measure.]

[shadowdive]

Do you want me to break your finger?

[viiru2alert]

Why stop at the finger?

[shadowdive]

Because you need your hands to work for a living.

[viiru2alert]

And what's attached to the hands? The fingers.

I don't just slam my palms at the keyboard and magic appears, dumbass.

[shadowdive]

That's why it'd only be those middle fingers you keep flinging at me.

[viiru2alert]

But I need those to type.

[Not that anyone could tell. He goes so fast by this point that it's all just a flurry of movement attached to his knuckles.]

[shadowdive]

You'll adjust if you have to take a pencil in your mouth to tap the keys.

[viiru2alert]

[Vanitas just receives the kind of look that simultaneously says "If you do that I will kill you", "obviously you have never tried to code anything before", and "OMFG YOU BASTARD NOOOOOOOOO".]

[shadowdive]

[heh heh heh heh]