three (video) ♊ good friends are those who stick together

[viiru2alert]

[Attached to this post is a short audio file that seems to play itself automatically when the post is opened for the first time; even though the Gear says that Sollux posted this, the voice clearly isn’t his. It’s high and squeaky, just as grainy as any other Gear call, but the dialogue goes something like this – “Hi, Sollux! I just saw you get the Zephyr Badge from Falkner, that was so cool! Well, that’s all! Later!”]

[Who knows how Sollux did that, but he’s Sollux, so anyone who knows him probably shouldn’t have it come as much of a surprise. Another thing that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise is the fact that he looks absolutely miserable. Granted, Sollux looks absolutely miserable anyway, but judging from that audio post it seems like he’s actually justified this time; Sollux has apparently become the next victim of every Trainer’s sworn enemy…]

[…Juggler Irwin.]

Hey, I’ve got a question.

This asshole has been calling me incessantly about pretty much every step I took since leaving Goldenrod. He’s a fucking stalker.

...

So, how much do assassination services go for in the Kanto area? Johto too, for that matter?

Comments

[uuing]

[ Maria needs a sarcasm detector. She really does. ]

It's okay! Maria's not even a great witch yet, but even if she was, she would still help you out! That's what friends are for! [ oh, and apparently she's decided they're friends already. ]

[viiru2alert]

[If she plans to make a habit out of talking to Sollux, she definitely does.]

A witch?

No way.

[uuing]

... Uu-? [ she doesn't even seem to get what he means just yet - to her believing in witches is a natural thing! ]

'No way' what?

[viiru2alert]

I thought humans can't have witch powers.

[uuing]

That's since Maria's still studying to become a witch! Although she can already use magic, she's even thought up her very own kinds of magic!

[viiru2alert]

What kind of magic is that?

[Maybe if he gets her to talk enough she'll tire herself out and leave. Clearly, avoiding her himself is not going to work. So Sollux is physically incapable of ignoring a message on his PokéGear. Sue him.]

[uuing]

[ It's a tiring competition.. but apparently Maria doesn't show any signs of losing just yet - she loves talking about this, so it only energizes her more. ]

Uu-, it's the magic of happiness!