two (video) ♊ what kind of pokémon are you?

[viiru2alert]

[In what is apparently becoming a recurring trend, Sollux doesn't look very happy as he turns on the PokéGear. Sure, he's covered in scratches and clearly hasn't slept well in days, despite the glasses hiding his tired eyes. There isa new Pokémon around him now, a small red and green dragonfly; it's not hard to guess at least one of the reasons why he's in such a sour state, because one of them is a Yanma, one of the rarest little buggers on the route north of Goldenrod. One wonders how long he spent looking for that thing.]

[The other reason would probably be the fact that he seemingly decided that his spirit animal is a Zapdos.]

[His previously black hair now has streaks of very yellowish blond in it, for one thing. And where it curled oddly before, each and every hair is now straight as a pin -- and at a seventy-five degree angle, sticking up from his head like he went Super Saiyan while no one was looking. The PokéGear is being held by Baltoy, whose limb can sometimes be seen repositioning the camera; Sollux seems unwilling to touch it himself, any more than he absolutely has to. Probably a wise decision, considering what he's learned on Alternia about tech and unchecked electricity.]

[But he doesn't seem to be ranting about this makeover today; he's not mentioning it at all, even though he certainly noticed. Instead, he looks up at the sky for a moment and back at the PokéGear. Apparently, someone has missed the demolition derby carried out on the local Pokémon Center, but what he heard from out on the Route is definitely not telling his survival instincts to go and check it out.] 

What the hell is happening back in Goldenrod? I just heard some fucking unholy noises from over there.

Comments

[pianokeys]

[He... doesn't know how to feel about that. Sad is one of the feelings he's getting though.]

And your family?

[viiru2alert]

[Family. Family. Uhh...]

Got one. Chained to the top of the building 'cause he's too bug and stupid to fit inside the apartment leaf.

[pianokeys]

They chained up your parent? [What even.]

[viiru2alert]

No, I did.

Like I said, couldn't fit him in the hive and he'd get himself killed if I let him wander off.

oh god father can't take it. He is slightly worried.

[pianokeys]

[... What even. He can't quite- what?]

But- why?

Sollux is a terrible person, I'm so sorry.

[viiru2alert]

I just told you like twice.

;u;

[pianokeys]

There's no need to treat your parent that way. [He rarely gets disciplinary with the kids, but he can't let this one slide.

He's furrowing his brow at you Sollux. Look at how horrible he is at discipline thorough he's being.]

[viiru2alert]

Um, yeah, there kind of was! You try fitting a brain dead, twenty-foot-tall, half-ton monster in your fuckin' apartment! See if he doesn't ruin all the equipment in sight and cost you a shitton of money that you don't have! Tell me how that goes.

[...Look, Bicyclopsdad is kind of a sore subject, okay.]

[pianokeys]

[He's got to feel for that guy. He knows what it's like to seem like a brain-dead monster, so it's kind of sad... poor Bicyclopsdad.]

Family's worth more than money.

[viiru2alert]

[Facepalm.]

Even past the fucking money. It's physically impossible.

...Look, there was nothing else I could do, okay?! [Aaaaand here comes the guilt.]

[pianokeys]

[A nod.]

As long as there was nothing else you could do. [Sometimes you just can't help the options you're dealt.]

And now I'm here, you can have all the fatherly love you need. [He's grinning like a mad-man! He's so happy he can help.]

itp: Gira has bicyclops feels

[viiru2alert]

I never asked you for anything. Ethpethially not love! [His lisp is kind of acting up, a surefire sign that something's rattled him.]

[He... yeah, alright, he was really bad to Bicyclops. Always more than a little bitter because of the limitations placed on both of them, Sollux never really interacted with him much except at feeding time; and when he did, it was always screaming and fury all over the place. And because he was chained to the top of the building, the accident he caused (which accidentally killed his girlfriend) killed Bicyclops too.]

Trust Father to bring up the daddy issues.

[pianokeys]

Everyone needs love.

[Having a monster dad isn't going to be the easiest thing on the planet, especially not when they're that big. But really everyone deserves a chance, even if they do accidentally kill the people you love- hell, Father knows this; his wife's killed three of his kids and he still loves her not like he really has a choice.

But sometimes you have to put up with family, because no matter how dysfunctional and imperfect they may be, they're family.

He's a little sad that he has to give you another monster for a dad- because that's really what he is, deep down- because you don't seem so happy about having a monster before, Sollux. He's human here though, so that's better, right?]

sobbb

[viiru2alert]

[It's not so much the fact that he's a monster as the fact that he's a... well, a pain in the ass, to put it bluntly. One of those EVERYONE ELSE HAS COOL PARENTS, WHY CAN'T YOU BE COOL TOO situations, except instead of COOL it's COMPETENT AND FUNCTIONAL. Yup.]

So why should I accept it from some lunatic I don't even know?

[pianokeys]

[Oh! He can try and give him a cool Other parent? He tries to be cool.]

I'm your Other Father. [Not a lunatic.]

[viiru2alert]

Other-- what is that? [You're really not helping your 'lunatic' argument, seriously.]

[pianokeys]

Father. Dad. [He doesn't know you're a troll, or he would say Lusus.]

[viiru2alert]

[So culturally considerate!] Look, I don't know who you are or what a 'dad' is supposed to be, but I've never seen you before in my life, even if you were a troll. So bug off!

[Foolish Sollux. You are doing nothing but denying the inevitable.]

[pianokeys]

[He's used to this attitude. Karkat gave him worse.

But, hey- troll!]

Other Lusus?

[He's still got that goofy smile.]

[viiru2alert]

[...]

Didn't we just get done talking about how I already had a lusus? I don't need another one.

[pianokeys]

Doesn't mean I won't be here if you need me. I'm not going a~nywhere.

[viiru2alert]

Why me?

...And I won't need you!

[pianokeys]

I'm every child's Other Father, if they don't have their real father to take care of them.

Well, if you ever do...

[viiru2alert]

Yeah, yeah, I'll keep you in mind. [Unsurprisingly, his tone suggests otherwise.]

[pianokeys]

[Smilllle]

Thanks, kiddo.